So, I was drinking some coffee and making a breakfast sandwich before work this morning when I threw on the TV for something to kill 20 minutes, and lo and behold, 3 Ninjas was on TV.Back in the days when I counted my age by half years, I used to love this flick because....well.....ninjas.
Nowadays....it's roughly 230980984034 times better.
Things I learned from 3 Ninjas:
-Ninjas are ridiculously good at basketball. Like scary good. They play to 10, spot the punks 9 points and still win. Rocky and Colt are about 4'6" at the absolute most, but does height stop a Ninja from dunking? Like fun it does.
-Baby sitters are always old ladies. Furthermore, old ladies always leave curlers in their hair.
-70+ year old ninjas are capable of taking over an undermanned enemy base, but the FBI sure as hell isn't.
-It's totally reasonable for a very Asian man to have the whitest daughter alive and offer no explanation as to how it came to be.
-Although black belts in karate are required to register themselves as weapons, it's perfectly OK for two fully trained ninjas to beat the shit out of a fat black kid because he stole a girls bike.
-It hurts when you get kicked in the dick.
-Ninjas sometimes wear hockey masks and carry large automatic weapons.
-Ninjas are also excellent BMX bikers. Who knew?
A-plus work 3 Ninjas. A-fucking-plus.
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