Yup.

Who wins?

We all do.

Pullman video of the week

Click here and enjoy.

This picture came up on my news feed....

A friend of a friend uploaded this picture of Obama on the 'Book and it came up on my feed.

So much to say....

Not quite sure what to say....

Hail to the chief mother fuckers.

Pullman video of the week

Click and enjoy.

Raptors on the brain....

So....I've been thinking a lot about velociraptors and I've come to a verdict.

I wish they were still around.

Humans in general are too douchey these days, bickering and fighting over petty quarrels because we have nothing better to do. But, what if we were prey?

If we had raptors running around trying to eat us and shit, we wouldn't have the time to be all pissed off at each other.

And if you're going to be a dick and rain all over my parade because we're "technologically superior"....well......we'll give them lazers.

So....lazer Raptors. How about that?

3 Ninjas still played on television. Still awesome.

So, I was drinking some coffee and making a breakfast sandwich before work this morning when I threw on the TV for something to kill 20 minutes, and lo and behold, 3 Ninjas was on TV.

Back in the days when I counted my age by half years, I used to love this flick because....well.....ninjas.

Nowadays....it's roughly 230980984034 times better.

Things I learned from 3 Ninjas:

-Ninjas are ridiculously good at basketball. Like scary good. They play to 10, spot the punks 9 points and still win. Rocky and Colt are about 4'6" at the absolute most, but does height stop a Ninja from dunking? Like fun it does.

-Baby sitters are always old ladies. Furthermore, old ladies always leave curlers in their hair.

-70+ year old ninjas are capable of taking over an undermanned enemy base, but the FBI sure as hell isn't.

-It's totally reasonable for a very Asian man to have the whitest daughter alive and offer no explanation as to how it came to be.

-Although black belts in karate are required to register themselves as weapons, it's perfectly OK for two fully trained ninjas to beat the shit out of a fat black kid because he stole a girls bike.

-It hurts when you get kicked in the dick.

-Ninjas sometimes wear hockey masks and carry large automatic weapons.

-Ninjas are also excellent BMX bikers. Who knew?

A-plus work 3 Ninjas. A-fucking-plus.

George Harrison kicked the shit out of the 80's.

In case you were under the impression that George Harrison didn't rule in the '80's, here is proof that you're fucking retarded.

Zombieland liveblog.

I've heard a ton of great things about Zombieland, but for whatever reason, hadn't seen it. Well, I'm watching it now. So......here we go.

8:39 p.m. The guy on the voice over has a really annoying voice. (Turns out he's the main character, a poor-man's hybrid of Andy Samberg and Michael Cera. Worse than it sounds)

8:40 p.m. Right off the bat, this is has been gorey as fuck. Not sure why I'm surprised. PS...Metallica.

8: 42 p.m. Graphics about the rules of Zombie survival are a pretty nice touch.

8: 45 p.m. Mexican stand-off between lame Andy Samberg/Michael Cera guy and Woody Harrelson. Cool.

8:50 p.m. Enter hot chick.

8:53 p.m. Hot chick now a zombie. Pukes up some gross. Lame.

8:58 p.m. The rumors about Woody Harrelson in this movie are true. He's fucking crushing it.

9:14 p.m. Yup. Harrelson rocks. So does this movie.

9:18 p.m. Zombie killed by the old falling piano gag. Did I mention that Woody Harrelson is destroying this movie?

9:23 p.m. Zombie Charlie Chaplin was a nice touch.

9:26 p.m. Now god damned way. If Zombie Bill Murray shows up I'm going to piss.

9:27 p.m. Amazing. They did it. This is perfect.

9:30 p.m. 3-minute Bill Murray cameo was euphoric.

9:34 p.m. Father/son issues arise. This shit always gets me. Want to make me cry? Bring up father/son touching moments. It's all over after that.

9:39 p.m. Chick from Superbad is pretty damn hot.

9:43 p.m. Zombie shit storm en route.

9:45 p.m. Woody Harrelson quotes Babe. This movie is off the charts.

9:48 p.m. Chicks hiding on the Hellavator is a rookie move. Girls are dumb.

9: 50 p.m. Theme park Zombie fight kicks ass.

9: 58 p.m. Movie over. Pleasantly surprised.

Highlights: Woody Harrelson in general, Bill Murray's cameo, the soundtrack.

Lowlights: That kid's voice.

Top Ten Wins of All Time

The following list comprises, unarguably, the Ten Greatest Wins of all-time.

...

Enjoy.

10.Yi-Jianlan def. chair

The internet rules, no question. Sometimes, however, they fail big time. How can this video not be online anymore? New Jersey Nets forward and Chinese NBA basketball hero Yi Jianlian was ready to be picked rather high in the 2007 NBA draft. In order to increase his draft stock, Yi recorded a video of himself absolutely crushing a metal folding chair in a game of one on one. To be fair, the chair was an incredibly patient defender.

9.David Hasselhoff's jacket def. Berlin Wall

Communism takes a real ass-kicking in this list, as you'll see later on. In one of the most impressive clothing moves of all time, David Hasselhoff's Christmas-light leather jacket unarguably takes out the Berlin wall. Dig the video description.

8.Jon Stewart def. Tucker Carlson

Often labeled an ignorant political figure who hides behind his comedic reputation, Jon Stewart appears on Crossfire and brushes Tucker Carlson's teeth with his dick.

7.Mighty Ducks def. Black kids

Before they went on to win the 1994 Junior Olympic Goodwill games, Team USA pulled out a nail-biter against a bunch of poor black kids with inferior equipment in a game of roller hockey.

6.Bill & Ted def. San Dimas High School/ Ted's dad

Facing threats of failing and military school, Bill & Ted crush the space/time continuum, make some pretty impressive friends, and put on the most excellent history report of all time.

5.Rocky def. Communism

Though Hasselhoff's jacket did some serious damage, it looks pretty minuscule compared to Rocky Balboa single-handedly beating Communism.

4. John McClain def. Hans Gruber & Co.

A surprisingly ethnically diverse group of terrorists/glorified thieves attempt to ransack the Nakatomi Corporation of a shitload of money and precious artifacts. John McClain says nah, bro.

3.Eric Cartman def. Scott Tenorman

On the real, Scott Tenorman's pube trick was pretty god-damned genius. Be that as it may, Eric Cartman's revenge makes Jaws' look like pussy shit.

2.Bill Pullman, Will Smith & Jeff Goldblum def. Technologically Superior Aliens

Well, 20th Century Fox pulled an out of this world douche-move by pulling the last remaining online video of Pullman's epic speech from Youtube. Horrible. Anyway, here's this...

1. Luke Skywalker def. The Death Star

Dude, come on. Who else was gonna pull this shit off, Porkins?

Browsing Yahoo Answers

"I am in 7th grade and am a pretty (as so people say) and quiet girl. I like this guy and i'm not sure what to do. I really want to talk to him but i don't know how to. my friends say to say anything because he is random. My friend is really good friends with him so i try hanging with her when shes with him. but this girl who i hate only plays sports so boys can teach her how! she is like crazy! and yet all the boys are for her!! anyways, he is really funny and stuff. but heres the thing, i am super quiet and shy! like i dont have any guy friends that i talk to outside of class!! it really sux! I want to get guy friends! well if you have advice, i could really use it!! THX! :)

• 5 hours ago

Additional Details

by the way: his eyes are TO DYE FOR! they are sooo pretty! I can't help but stare into them!"

.....The chick who plays sports so guys will teach her how is a fucking mastermind.

Did you know?

Did you know that the tongue of a Blue Whale is as long as an Elephant?

Yup.

This guy really sucks.

I'd be willing to bet a significant amount of money that this guy was Google'ing Family Guy Quotes.

Greatness.

DISCLAIMER: The following link has absolutely nothing to do with Bill Pullman, he is merely synonomous with greatness. Bill Pullman will be omnipresent on this blog. If you have a problem with that, you have a problem with America, And if you have a problem with America you can git out!

Simply click and enjoy.

Awful.

Springtime for Hipster(s)

Well.....it's stupid nice out today.

Though it's been beautiful out for random spells recently, it's pretty unanimous that today is the beginning of quasi-persistent beautiful weather for the long run in Boston. The first truly gorgeous day in the city is a clear-cut harbinger for three indisputable facts.

1.) Day beers.

2.) Sun dresses.

3.) Hipster jorts.

...You guys ever heard Pavement?